Thursday, June 12, 2008
Okay, okay, so it's about time I 'speechified' on this subject for a second... I mean really? I was in Target today, just perusing through with that someone special, she was looking for clothes, me, eh, I was just perusing. So I'm in the men's clothing section (looking for a 'nice' pair of black cargo pants for work). Nothing much there as everything's ready for summer and is either shorts or slacks. And there they were....
Men's underwear. Not that I have a problem with that, I mean, I'm a man, well at least a guy I s'pose, and I wear them, but here's my problem: WHY, I mean WHY do the pics on the front of the packages HAVE to be of these super-ripped fellahs that pretty much only exist on the front of romance novels? I mean seriously!
Now I will admit, yeah, it makes me think, 'Ooh, I would look that sexy in these underoos!' But really? That'd be a HUGE no! I mean, If...IF i am that susceptible to buy a pack (okay, okay, fine....I bought a pack..well two - SHUT UUP! I stopped after three, aiight?) I get them home, and well naturally, I'm ready to look sexy like that, so I strip to the nakidity (it's a word...well at least now it is anyways), and put a pair on.
First thing, apparently the men in the photos? They have no ass because these things rode ride up mine like I was wearing a freakin' thong! And these are supposed to be briefs for crying out loud! Next, (and I'll admit, I don't have abs, but I don't exactly have a gut) these things made me feel like I was Peter from The Family Guy, gut sticking way the hell out over my pants or something! And holy cow, do these guys have sticks for legs? Mine felt like they were turning blue from lack of circulation.
In short, I think they need some more normal guys on these photo fronts. I mean they do that for women now right? Help us guys out a bit, you underwear people! Quit making us feel like fattie patties! Although...I think about it....if they did that, then the peeps in the fast food industry (worthwhile ones like Hardee's and Taco Bell) would probably downsize portions.....then Hungryman TV dinners would downsize...then you wouldn't be able to get a 'decent' size meal at a restaurant -it'd be all that frou frou crap you get at 'gourmet' restaurants for 90 bucks a portion- , then cats and dogs would walk together, and....AAUUUUUGHHHH!
Maybe the little ripped guys advertising sexy underwear aren't sooo bad when i think on it.....
1 comments:
What a fascinating circular argument! As for me, I still think the photographs on the underwear packages -- or more importantly, the DESIGN of said underwear -- could be more realistic without actually tilting the earth on its axis. You make an excellent point, in short.
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